Guess which films these lines of dialogue are from. First:
Any news on the boyfriend front?
I was kind of seeing someone: an author.
And what happened?
He committed suicide.
Oh I'm so sorry.
It's alright. I didn't really like him very much. I liked him even less after he committed suicide.
How did he do it?
He threw himself off a building. He didn't even do that properly. It was only a 3 story building. He would have survived only a car ran him over.
What sort of books did he write?
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love, but then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love, to be happy then is to suffer but suffering makes one unhappy, therefore to be unhappy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down...
Kids, this is a message from your Uncle ____. Don't buy drugs. Wait until you're a rock star, and they give them to you for free!